Filipino wives are often said to treat their husbands like kings, doing everything for them. They’re seen as amazing mothers, loyal partners, and passionate in bed… But are they really, or are they just gold diggers after money?
Some Westerners hold strong stereotypes and prejudices about Filipino wives. This is understandable and natural since people everywhere tend to generalize other people based on their own experiences and perceptions. The same applies to Filipino women, who often refer to Western men as Amerikano or Kano – regardless of their actual nationality.
The more you learn about Filipino wives and interact with them, the clearer it becomes how exaggerated these prejudices and stereotypes are. They are often based on a single small incident, experience, or interaction – and don’t reflect the bigger picture at all.
Since most Western men lack personal experience with a Filipino spouse, the prejudices are shaped by hearsay, opinions, and generalizations about Asian women. While many of these assumptions are false and misleading, there may sometimes be a small grain of truth in them.
The Whole Picture of a Filipino Wife
Sometimes you hear a pair of familiar questions: ”What do those Asian women see in you?” and ”What do you see in those gold-digging flirts?” These comments usually stem from personal insecurity and negative prejudices – people say such comments all over the world. The best response? ”We see something in them that we don’t see in you.”
Discussions about Filipino wives often come loaded with assumptions about why a Western man and a Filipino woman end up married. More often than not, the conversation leans toward moral judgment rather than an actual facts.
There are about 150 million Filipinos living in the Philippines and abroad, and among them are wives with the most diverse backgrounds and stories imaginable. Some are poor, others wealthy; some uneducated, others highly educated or broadly informed; and some remain largely unaware of the wider world. There are gentle wives and harsh ones, faithful and unfaithful, nurturing and manipulative. In short: there’s an endless variety of Filipino wives, any of whom could become the “typical” Filipino spouse, depending on who’s telling the story.
While we Westerners like to think of ourselves as unique individuals, the average Western man often fits generalizations about him more neatly than Filipino wives fit theirs. That’s because Filipino women come from a wider range of local cultures and socioeconomic backgrounds. Aside from citizenship, there’s little they all share – making sweeping generalizations misleading at the individual level.
Below are six common prejudices and misconceptions about Filipino wives that you may encounter in the Western world.
- Filipino Wife is Poor and Uneducated
Many Filipino wives living in the west come from humble backgrounds and financially disadvantaged situations compared to their Western husbands. This often leads to the misconception that all Filipino wives come from similar backgrounds. In reality, the Philippines has many independent and financially stable women, and in many Western-Filipino families, the wife is the primary or equal breadwinner.
Although the Philippines has many well-educated and highly cultured women, many women still live within the confines of their social and economic environment and shape their worldview and knowledge solely based on their immediate environment. While Filipino culture values traditional wife virtues, this background does not always provide a broad perspective on global affairs.
- You Can’t Divorce a Filipino Wife
The common belief that a Filipino wife cannot be divorced is not entirely true. In all Western countries, couples, including Filipinos with foreign spouses, can legally divorce and remarry. However, validating a divorce in the Philippines that occurred abroad requires a legal process and some time and money. The laborious and expensive annulment process is reserved only for the dissolution of Filipino marriages.
Since 1987, the Philippine government has recognized divorces granted abroad, provided that one of the spouses is a Filipino citizen. For a divorce to be officially recognized in the Philippines, it must be granted in a country where both parties have the legal right to remarry – as in almost all Western countries.
- Every Filipino woman wants a Western husband
Many Filipino women see Western men as better and more stable husbands compared to local men. A good number of women who dream of marrying a foreigner have had disappointing experiences in local relationships, often with fatherless children to prove the point. Not all Filipino men are irresponsible serial lovers, but their culture includes many traditional ideas of masculinity that differ from the virtues associated with being a Western husband and father.
Independent, educated, and successful women may struggle to find a local partner because, for many Filipino men, having a wife who is more successful or earns more is not a source of pride. In contrast, a relationship with a Western man is often viewed as a sign of higher social status and financial security – something to be proud of rather than looked down upon.
- Filipino Women Are Submissive Doll-Wives? Think Again.
In Filipino marriages, mutual respect is paramount, and public humiliation of a spouse is not considered acceptable. If a man expects his Filipino wife to unquestioningly follow his rules, lifestyle, and principles, he should abandon that notion immediately. I doubt many men married to a Filipina would describe her as submissive or weak. In Filipino families, women hold substantial authority – they manage the household and, quite often, their husbands as well.
While traditional gender roles are common in marriages, they may not align with the Western concept of an egalitarian relationship. However, the fact that marital dynamics differ from those in Western countries does not mean the wife is weak or submissive – it’s simply a different kind of balance and dynamic between spouses.
- Can You Buy a Filipino Wife?
Surprisingly, some people still believe that Filipino – and other Asian – wives can be ”ordered by mail.” Sure, arrangements like these did happen, particularly in the 1980s, but since then, ”mail-order brides” haven’t exactly been flooding into the west. Nowadays, Filipino women usually meet their Western partners through dating websites or more traditional means.
However, the myth of the ”mail-order bride” persists, partly because it makes for an entertaining story and provides an easy target for moral outrage. In more conservative corners of society, the idea of a ”mail-order bride” is sometimes confused with online dating. But these comparisons are so far removed from reality that they’re best met with a polite smile. I’ve even been asked – apparently with genuine curiosity – how much I paid for my wife. The best response to such a question? “It came at an immeasurable cost, but the reward was beyond measure.”
- Are Filipino Wives Only After Money?
Are there any Filipino women who have migrated to Western countries simply seeking financial stability? Yes. What about Asian, African, or Latin American women? Also yes. Are Western women ever after money? Of course. Gold diggers exist in every nationality – it’s a personality trait, not a cultural one.
Naturally, material considerations play a role in any relationship, but it’s rarely a one-sided arrangement where the man’s actions and choices are irrelevant. If you marry a woman from a go-go bar – where the job inherently involves “chasing money” – it’s unfair and unwise to generalize that all Filipino women are only after financial gain.
A real Filipino wife is a unique individual
Numbers of Western-Filipino marriages are on the rise after the dry season of the COVID-19 pandemic. And that’s a good thing, because Filipino wives are the best at challenging and reshaping the prejudices attached to them. Each and every one of them – just like Western husbands in the Philippines – either debunks or reinforces those prejudices and stereotypes, gradually bringing them closer to reality.
Both, prejudices and stereotypes, are always based on generalizations that fail to capture the diversity of any group or the uniqueness of its individuals. You can laugh at them, choose not to be offended, make use of them, or simply shrug them off – but you can never fully erase them. That’s just how reality works: it’s the same for everyone, but it looks different depending on the context.
And despite all the prejudices themselves, they can also be a source of fun and unexpected joy. After all, prejudices and stereotypes also arouse our interest in people from different cultures, draw us to them, and sometimes even lead to intercultural marriage.
Wife from the Philippines (part 1) – What is a Filipino wife like?
Wife from the Philippines (part 2) – Where to find a Filipino wife?
Wife from the Philippines (part 3) – How to charm a Filipino woman?
